Misdirection

I don't always read the instructions that come with things less complicated than a toothbrush but sometimes doing so ends up being more fun than the products themselves.

One thing I love doing, however, is looking to see just how many warranties a manufacturer can attempt to disclaim? Why every one of course. (Good luck!). Recently, in the course of contemplating the implied warranty of fitness for a particular purpose, the following instructional directives/commands/pleas jumped out at me:

Panasonic Hairdryer:
"Never use while underwater."

Graco Children's Car Seat:
"Not for use on motorcycles, watercraft or farm equipment, including push or riding lawn mowers."

Kirtland Stainless Chaffing Dishes:
"Never use heated fuel with cold dishes."

Pizza Box from Dion's Pizza (A local Albuquerque chain):
"Always remove pizza from box before reheating in oven or over open flame."

LG Front-Loading Washer:
"Never attempt to operate washer when someone is inside unit."

Craftsman Circular Saw:
"Use Care When Operating - When in motion, blade will cut skin on contact."

As I'm working on a fairly large products liability case right now, I'm reminded that someone, somewhere has taken the above action, been injured as a result and sued the manufacturer for their injuries under a theory of products liability. The instructions, while clearly appearing to fly in the face of common sense also have the legal effect of serving to warn and trim back at least one branch of a potential plaintiff's case.

Neat huh? Not so much common sense as common law. Oh, and don't even think about scoffing and telling me we live in too litigious a society.

Instead, consider that we live in a society where most companies need to put a notice on their return envelopes informing us, the wise, sue-happy American public to, "Affix Postage. Post Office will not deliver without a stamp."

I, uh, rest my case.

Gift You!

So what did you get for Christmas?

Peace?
(No. Not if we're in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Congo, Sudan and a long list of other places we never hear about!)

Goodwill?
(Nope. Especially if we're talking about the last parking spot at Trader Joe's!)

Fellowship?
(Nada! Particularly if we've overstayed our visa or crossed the border "illegally"!)

Your two front teeth?
(Nope, implants!)

Well, what did you get for Christmas then?
(One damn funny movie with a title that says it all... Sexy Beast!)

Maybe Christmas is about getting what you want as long as you don't live in certain places, do ride a bicycle to shop and just happen to be born in the United States...

Cool...

Oh, but implant-wise having dental uh, "insurance" makes no difference either way! It doesn't cover them!

Visions of Sugar Plums

Yes, boys and girls I'm nothing if not realistic, even cynical when it comes to Christmas.

But that won't keep me from enjoying the glow of the tree lights and curling up on the couch with my main squeeze, a bottle of Korbel Brut handy and Christmas in Connecticut on the big screen.

Forget fat Santa boy. That's kid's stuff. I'll take a young Barbara Stanwyck on a ladder any day.

Spend All You Want... We'll Print More.

Christmas time is here and I can't seem to get that chorus from a Charlie Brown Christmas out of my head.


This is the time of year when people smile a little more between the stress of finding the "perfect" gift for you-know-who. (I don't know who, YOU know who!) Of course, this is also the time when most people dig themselves deeper into debt for the sole purpose of feeling like they're flush with cash and yule-tide cheer; i.e. the credit card bills won't arrive until mid-January so put another gift under that tree.

Christmas always reminds me that the majority of Americans continue to live way beyond their financial means (and yes, I do think about this stuff). More than any other holiday, Christmas justifies excess and personal irresponsibility. To me, the holiday's purpose is first and foremost a mass rationalization for the group-think of spending money one doesn't have. Retailers and the media send a message that resonates quite effectively for family members who "feel" like they need to buy a sufficient number of presents or they'll "feel" less good about themselves.

Cynical? Whatever. Realistic? You bet'cha!

Articles abound about consumer confidence; i.e. willingness to spend and whether or not retailers are or are not going to make projected increased sales this year. At the same time, the mortgage issue (I refuse to subscribe to the "C" word) continues to be an editor's dream and the rate of credit card defaults remains on a steady upward climb.

I'd like to see media reporting and consumer education that effectively correlates the two issues; namely your holiday spending translates into your deepening consumer debt. Reduce one and the other must follow. I admit that perhaps that might be too uh.. cynical or even too realistic for all those shoppers striving to feel good during this holiday season. It's certain they don't want to hear that message.


But didn't Linus tell Charlie Brown that Christmas is not all about getting what you want?

Smart guy that Linus.

Double Indemnity for Credit

It's almost the end of the year and all over the U.S. busy little lawyers are scurrying around doing their best to rack up enough continuing legal education (CLE) credits to remain in good standing with their respective bars for at least one more year.

Although both Wisconsin and New Mexico give first year lawyers a break and don't require CLEs from them until the following year after admission (2008 in my case), it's never to early to let one's butt grow numb via the combined efforts of a hotel chair and an overly sentence-heavy, power point slide show.

(Tip for Presenters: Stop reading the paragraphs of information you've put in your slides. Let the audience do that, it helps keep them awake).

I spent the day in a bad faith insurance CLE, which if truth be told was interesting and informative.

The seminar had the added bonus of reminding me of a particular insurance course at Wisconsin taught by one Professor Peter Carstensen. His course was great not only because of the subject, but also because Carstensen is a funny guy who knows how to keep his audience entertained. The only issue I had with the course was that it was scheduled to meet in the wee early hours of the morning, i.e. 8:00, 8:15 or some such time and which significantly impacted my attendance, no doubt.

But to think... a scant 18 months after first learning about subrogation, bad faith and those sneaky endorsements, I'm actually practicing insurance defense and enjoying myself immensely.

Thanks Pete!

Makes You Wanna' Treat Me with More Respect, Don't It?

Checking my email this morning, I found the daily news digest from Law.com indicating that starting salaries for new associates have been raised by one DC law firm to the lofty height of $180K annually.

One-hundred and eighty thousand dollars per year? For a brand-spanking new attorney fresh from the trials and tribulations of law school?

Wait, I'm one of those aren't I? You mean I'm worth 180 GRAND? (Shhhh, I say to the supervising attorneys giggling in the background).

Please...

I'd like to put that figure in perspective:

One hundred and eighty thousand dollars is more than a Member of Congress makes annually ($165,200) and more than the minimum starting salary in the NFL ($131,000), NHL ($125,000) and MLB ($109,000). It's more than eight times the federal poverty line for a family of four and nearly double what a top tier law school charges for tuition. More importantly, its a number that suggests that the client's money is somehow worth less than the firm's own. After all, it's the clients paying for these salaries, not the partners (find me one partner who wants to take funds out of their annual bonuses to pay new law grads such sums, and I'll show you a partner who's "Of Counsel".)

Now correct me if I'm wrong but isn't the point of being an associate that one has yet to learn enough to participate as a full partner in the practice of law with other lawyers? Is there anyone out there that thinks a first year associate, and I don't care if he or she graduated top of their class at Harvard, knows one single thing about the 'practice' of law?

So why the inflated salary?

In a word, oneupmanship. The firm at issue here, Williams & Connoley, is a DC-based firm that wants to top the New York firms in the salary department. Look at us, aren't we spiffy?

Oh, and there are practicalities at stake too of course. "The firm does not offer end-of-the-year bonuses as most firms do, so it typically compensates by paying higher base salaries."

Ohhhhh... of course.

Pumping Legal Iron...

Headline this morning from the Chicago Tribune grabbed my attention:

"Roberts Admits to Taking Steroids"

Until I saw that the article was referring to that 'other' Roberts, I couldn't help but wonder if the Chief Justice's steroid use might help overcome the Supreme Court's apparent unwillingness to take on the heavy lifting required in granting certiorari to more than the hundred or so cases is presently accepts each year?

Now, Get to Work!

Ah well... It seems the ABA Journal published its "Blawg 100" and the old R&G Law apparently did not make the cut.

Oversight? I doubt it. The truth is, I've not been updating the blog like I should, given its obvious niche audience and subject matter.

But no more folks!

Going forward, the goal for 2008 is to make the Top 100 by focusing on legal topics of interest, albeit with that unique Land of Enchantment flavor; i.e. a red or green perspective.

Today, you are witness as we embark on the exciting, improved Spinal Tap... er, uh, Red and Green Law.

We hope you enjoy our new direction.

Never Forget!

After a lifetime of slurping at the public trough and all the "I'm not gay!", "I'll resign", "I'm not resigning!" rhetoric, Senator Larry Craig will never-the-less be remembered for his pit-stop in a Minneapolis Airport mens room that went badly awry.


Oh well, maybe he'll get something long and hard for Christmas in his stocking.

After all kiddies, Santa equally knows when you've been nice or naughty.

60 Days...

Time does fly when you're having fun. That's the saying anyway, but what I think it means is that when life is grabbing you by the shorthairs and pulling you along, a person tends not to notice just how long it's been since they last blogged.

Sixty days have gone by since I last posted on Michigan's loss to.. uh.. who cares. The Badgers managed to rout 'em on Sunday and that's far more relevant. While not missing Madison in the least, I am sorry to have missed the after-party. Coming off of several losses and mathmatically eliminating me from the office pool, Wisconsin looks to be ending their season with at least some respect for a job halfway well-done.

Work is busy and I'm daily reminded just how little about the practice of law I learned in law school. But wow! I'm moving along from research to motion practice to figuring out how to schedule depositions with opposing counsel and review medical records (yes, doctors do have the worst handwriting). Learning it, living it, loving it... "it" being the practice of law baby!

Speaking of baby, or babies. The little ones are getting bigger each day and becoming more and more a part of daily life. I didn't think that I'd take six months to figure out how do deal with the fact that I'm a new father... I thought it would take years and involve considerable bulk purchases of Johnny Walker (Black)... not so.

(Well, liberal applications of JW don't hurt)

But all in all, time heals all wounds even if self-inflicted.

A Man with A Plan

I went looking for some good news and found this gem just waiting to make me LAUGH.

The headline says it all:

"MAN BUILDS GUILLOTINE TO KILL HIMSELF"

Aside from the obvious, the story has two additional facts that sent me rolling on the floor. First, the name of the police chief quoted is "Dale Covert". Poor guy, to be stuck on a local police force with a name like that. You just know he's repeatedly applied with the feds; alas, the CIA has no sense of humor.

Second, the deceased airhead (get it), may or may not have been an engineering grad, but he was from Michigan!


An 0-2 record can really get a person down.

Legal Disclaimer: If, after reading this post, you A) are from Michigan, and B) build a guillotine and use it on yourself, I bear no responsibility for having provided you with the idea.

I will, however, laugh.

Shouldn't We Be Smarter Than This?

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Please join me in getting depressed reading about the new Kaiser Foundation survey on health care costs.

Since 2001, the annual employee payment for health insurance has increased by 78 percent, compared with a wage increase of 19 percent and an inflation rate of 17 percent. In my case, if I take 'advantage' of the health insurance offered through my employer my 25 percent of the total premium will cost me roughly $3800 a year. On top of that there are $20 copays every time someone in my family visits a doctor and at least $10 every time a prescription is filled but only if the drug is on the lowest of three pricing tiers.

If all that isn't bad enough the obvious conclusion is that health insurance is quickly becoming too expensive for small and medium businesses. This means fewer employers are able to pick up the tab today than they were six years ago. (In case you didn't know, most employers pay 75% of the total cost, or in my employer's case roughly $10,000 a year per employee. We have over 150 employees, you do the math).

When do we finally get to the point where we decide that enough is enough and start forcing our elected representatives to take notice and change the laws that govern how health care is funded?

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that as costs continue to increase, and more and more workers lose insurance coverage because their employers no longer can afford to offer it, that the bulk of those paying for insurance today will be the uninsured tomorrow.

Who picks up the cost for the growing uninsured? Federal and state governments in large part, as well as you, me and everyone else who presently has insurance. We pay higher premiums and get squeezed more and more, even as health care continues to be delivered to those without insurance; their numbers are clearly growing.

What's the answer? It's pretty simple. The answer is to get us out of having to "pay for health care" through an insurance premium and create a new requirement that we pay for medical care via dedicated taxes. It's not so radical because to a very large extent, we're already doing that (i.e Medicare, Medicaid, SHIPS, etc.), but today the true costs are hidden from us.

In sum, let us all join the uninsured and get away from an ever-increasing cost structure based upon insurance, one that sooner or later is going to collapse from its own excess. After all, the only parties benefiting from the current system are health insurers and their investors even while the true costs are not paid for by everyone in the system.

Baby Bisphenol A Malfeasance

Here’s a question I never thought to be asking myself:

What brand of bottle do I buy if I’m looking to feed my newly arrived child or children (in the case of twins)?

You could ask friends or family members for their recommendations or simply purchase your bottles on the basis of how much shelf space they have at the local BabiesRUs. If you do what we did, you’ll do both. Thus, based on the recommendation of a close friend and the size of the display, we chose Dr. Brown’s a brand of bottle manufactured by Handi-Craft, Inc.

We brought the bottles home in May and have been using them to feed the girls ever since. At no point did it occur to us to ask whether these bottles, with their six feet of shelf space and a sales price higher than many other brands, might also contain harmful chemicals.

Now don't we feel stupid (if not a bit sick to our stomachs).

While doing some Internet research, we’ve discovered that the bottles contain a chemical proven to leach out with repeated uses and which has been linked via a number of studies to reproductive problems, impaired immune system functions, cancer, etc.

The chemical is Bisphenol A and it’s found in a large number of plastic bottles. Manufacturers, however, are not required to list the ingredients contained in their product and there are no identifying markings on the bottles themselves.

There are bottles made from plastics that don’t contain Bisphenol A, including the containers holding milk and other food products in your local grocery store. Why? Because although no standard exists for containers specifically designed to hold food for infants, there are federal and state rules in place mandating what kind of plastic containers can hold pre-packaged food.

It appears that baby bottles don’t get the same regulatory protection.

I wish I was making this up.

Your Mom is so Hot!

Lawyers are human too. They have needs. Still, those ethics rules are there for a reason.

Learn it, love it, live it!

From the ABA Journal and delivered my way via Legal Blog Watch:

Legal Ethics
Sex With Client’s Mom Requires Waiver

It may be OK for a lawyer to have sex with a client's mother—if the client approves the relationship in a written waiver of the conflict. But you can't ethically have sex with the client, unless the relationship got started prior to the representation.

That is the gist of a Wisconsin Supreme Court opinion that imposed a six-month suspension on attorney Carlos Gamino, for violating each of these rules—with two different clients. Although the Waukesha lawyer denied both relationships, the court upheld a referee's findings that Gamino had slept with one client, as well as another client's mother. It also sanctioned him for a lack of candor with the tribunal.

Gamino, who has now served his six-month suspension and is making payments on restitution of between $20,000 and $25,000 for court costs, was reinstated to the Wisconsin bar today.

Here's the Wisconsin Supreme Court opinion.

I'd like to be a fly on the wall to listen in on this waiver explanation!

Nessun dorma ... One Now Sleeps

Driving into work this morning I heard the news that opera singer Luciano Pavarotti died last night at his home in Italy of complications from pancreatic cancer.

I'm not sad because I believe that the ending of a well-lived life is cause for celebration, not mourning (and by all accounts Pavarotti lived well). I am, however, reflective this morning because someone who did something truly amazing is no longer with us. Opera-wise, the 20th Century was ushered in by Enrico Caruso and completed by Pavarotti.

I saw and heard him sing in 2002 during a concert in Washington DC. In a way it was a rare privilege because out of the more than six billion people on this planet, only a fraction ever gets the chance to be personally inspired the way Pavarotti and his voice were so exceptionally capable of doing. In my experience, the inspiration of seeing him sing came freely; i.e. without strings attached and I've noticed that inspiration these days more often than not carries a price.

While I can revisit his music regularly, I also can’t help but consider that the world is now a tiny bit less beautiful as a result of his death.

His singing was simply goddamned glorious.

"E noi dovrem, ahimè, morir."

Logic Solves Everything

Does it matter if he cries?


No, not if he doesn't understand why he's crying.

Using the same logic...

Does it matter if he orders an invasion of Iraq?


No, not if he doesn't understand why he's invading Iraq.

Ah, I get it now. Logical.

First Week of September

My internal clock tells me that it’s time to head back to school and begin the learning process once again.

It’s amazing how going back to school fulltime can shift a person’s perspective from being on a year-round work schedule (vacation optional) back into a mindset of summer’s over, time to once again crack the books and make grandiose plans of making the dean’s list THIS semester.

An impolite way of describing the above might be to suggest that this fall I’m neither scheduled, nor permitted to regress.

But fall is quickly approaching. I can feel it.


After twelve weeks of heat, the trees seem to be holding their breath with an expectation of impending mild days and cool nights, both of which are so necessary for them to drop their leaves and slumber quietly.

The chiminea is clean and ready to glow with a freshly laid fire of pinion, and with football season’s arrival there’s certain to be a pre-game party or two at the house. Speaking of athletics, organized running events begin again during the fall and the Duke City Marathon is scheduled for October 23. While I'm not sufficiently in shape to take on all 26.2 miles, I plan on running in the half-marathon again this year.

The long and the short of it is that like the spring, autumn conveys a sense of fresh beginnings to me and I’m looking forward them all.

Normal is as Normal Does

Question:
What’s the definition of normal?

Answer:
Spending three hours on Saturday afternoon watching the Badgers beat Washington State, 42-21; all the while drinking a beer with my main squeeze sitting next to me on the couch.

Oh yeah… all of the above even while each of us has a four-month old baby girl on our lap. Babies who, I might add are simply facinated by watching football on TV.

What’s "normal" is often in the eye of the beholder but after four months of baby care it sure feels damn good.

Craig's List - ing...

And he looks about ready to tip over.

Notice I didn’t say bend over.
I’m not going to lower the level of the discussion here to point out the obvious.

Senator Larry Craig pled guilty to a federal misdemeanor that besides undermining his credibility on just about every political issue he purports to support, leaves him looking idiotic and puts him in the position of being the only sitting Senator to have been tried and convicted of violating federal law.

The last point alone should be enough for anyone to resign.

But no, not Larry. Instead he held a press conference, wife in tow wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and a less than supportive expression on her face. Before a crowd of reporters in downtown Boise, Larry took the opportunity to uh, defend himself.

In what reminds me of a spin-off of “we’re queer and we’re here,” Larry tells us that he’s not gay and he’s not going away.

Oh really? Could Larry be getting media tips from Mark Foley? Or maybe Dan Burton? I'll cut to the chase and join his GOP colleagues in suggesting he resign now and save us the need to make more fun of him during the workday.

Whether Larry Craig is gay or not is beside the point. Even if he were straight and in a co-ed bathroom and soliciting sex via subtle, coded foot tapping, I still don’t think such conduct is appropriate for a UNITED… STATES… SENATOR.

You know what I mean? I’m talking one half of the legislative branch of our national government, one of only 100 members of what has been called the most exclusive club on the planet, a person with power deriving from Article I , Section 3 of the United States Constitution.

Larry’s guilty plea puts him in the position of being a sitting Senator who is now convicted of violating federal law. The fact that he’s a perverted idiot who pled guilty without counsel is simply, uh window dressing.

No doubt tastefully decorated.

Say Goodnight Alberto

Overheard Sunday afternoon at lunch in Crawford, Texas:

"So, Al, uh... look on the bright side. You had a good run and did some great things."

"Uh huh, I can't recall."

"Don't say that dude, you really improved our numbers when it comes to drug interdiction and illegal immigration. And your arguments in favor of torture were killer."

"Uh, sure. I guess so."

"Hey, don't worry amigo, we'll always be buds. You and me, Hoss and Paco. It'll be like old times."

"But you'll still be in Washington and I'll... I'll... I don't know where I'll be."

"Oh come on Al... Where's that big Texas smile? I'll take care of you buddy."

"You will? Cool. Didn't you always say that you thought I'd make a great U.S. Supreme Court Justice? That would be nice steady work. What do you think?

"I did? Uh, I can't recall."

Shake Your Presidential Money-maker

With the President in town for a Domenici fundraiser (talk about timing), sources tell me that the Albuquerque Journal ran a story today noting that flight costs for Air Force One are $56,000 per hour and the total cost for a trip from DC to ABQ is approximately $224,000 each way, or $448,000 (not counting special expenses incurred locally by the Secret Service).

I recall that the President was here last summer campaigning for incumbent Representative Heather Wilson and attended a fundraiser that netted $375,000 for her campaign but cost the federal government at least $445,000. (Candidates do reimburse the feds up to the cost of a round trip business class ticket whenever the President visits on their behalf).

The point my source noted and you, clever reader, should already have seen, is that given the taxpayer incurred cost for Air Force One, it might make more sense to just have the federal government cut a check for $375,000 to Wilson's campaign and save the cost of sending the President.

Ah, but if we do that Mr. and Mrs. Campaign Donor will have no opportunity to strut their stuff or get in line for a choice political appointment.

Sigh.

Up, Up in the Air - cont.

The view after passing South Sandia Peak and looking behind me to the north.



Sunset on Saturday looking west out over the Rio Grande Valley.



I stopped for the night on an outcrop that seemed custom made for my campsite. This is Sunday morning.



Unseen from below, South Sandia Crest is surrounded by a mixture of open meadows and aspen groves.



While stopped for lunch on Sunday, I made a cold-blooded friend.



Nothing to do now but clean the equipment and plan for the next trip.

Up, Up in the Air - Day One

Both feet on the ground and some pics from the recent trip along the Sandia Crest Trail. It rained Friday night so I didn't get any pictures of the approach up from Tunnel Springs.

The view from my first night's camp.



I loaded up and hit the trail about 7:30.



The Needle as seen from the trail at about 9400 feet.



Lunch at a scenic overlook.



I survived a bout of wicked blisters on both heels and what seemed like a never-ending uphill climb (6150 to 10601 feet) but I made it to the end trail head in time for my shuttle ride on Sunday, back to where I parked my truck. (Thank you to the shuttle pilot for showing up with a mega-gulp each of ice water and Coke).

A Walk in the Woods

Heading up into the woods this evening...

It's been several years since I put a pack on my back and walked for any great distance. I grew up backpacking all over northern California. I also spent the first few years on the east coast sleeping in a tent on various parts of the Appalachian Trail in Virginia, West Virginia and Pennsylvania.

I like to think of myself as someone who doesn’t so much as hug trees as waves at them from a distance. Like old friends.

Over the past several years, however, I’ve been more enamored with the likes of the Westin and its room service, than I have of spending a night out under the stars, in a tent, on a Therma-Rest.

Still, the Sandias have a way of getting under one’s skin. After living in their shadow for more than a year, the Sandia Crest Trail has been on my mind. I want to see if I’m up to the challenge.

According to my trusty hiking guide, I’m looking at twenty-six miles of difficult trail with an elevation gain of more than four thousand feet. (check out the elevation gain)


I’ll hike north to south, beginning in Placitas at the Tunnel Springs trailhead and finishing in Tijeras at the Canyon Estates parking lot.

Weather looks mostly clear with a small chance of rain in the evenings.

I'll post some pictures with a bit of commentary after I get back.

The Ladies' Eating Schedule

"What about breakfast?

You've already had it.

We've had one, yes. What about second breakfast?

I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.

What about elevenses? Luncheon? Afternoon tea? Dinner? Supper?
He knows about them, doesn't he?

I wouldn't count on it."

Translation: Eleanor and Vivian apparently have yet to learn what eating three times a day can do for the sleep and shower schedules of their uh, caretakers.

Road Warrior - Mad Jim Oberstar

"I'm just here for the gasoline."

Transportation Committee Chairman Jim Oberstar (D-MN) advocates raising the gasoline tax by five cents to create a new trust fund dedicated for repairing the nation’s infrastructure. His call for the tax seems to imply that doing so might avert a future interstate bridge collapse like the one last week in his home state.

Beneath the Congressman’s stab at media face time, it’s important to understand how Congressional funding works before taking Oberstar’s suggestion too seriously.

Oberstar’s committee authorizes transportation spending projects. It doesn’t actually fund them, known in DC-speak as appropriation. The reason for what seems like a contradiction is because when actual funding takes place, it is the Committee on Appropriations that makes each and every decision. This committee is all-powerful (so much so that members may only serve on this one panel). Further, its members are not bound by the Transportation Committee's recommendations or priorities.

Why should you care? Because although Mr. Oberstar may advocate increasing the gasoline tax, he doesn’t serve on a committee with power to collect or spend revenue. (He doesn’t even serve on the committee that can increase the tax – that’s the Ways and Means Committee). Oberstar is doing what every authorizer in Congress does, making broad policy statements without having to take responsibility for actually implementing the policy.

Sort of an institutional version of “never having to put your money where your mouth is.”

One twist to this story: There is actually a disincentive for Congress to spend revenue generated by the gasoline tax. The so-called “trust funds” (another of which Oberstar is advocating should be created for his increase) are just accounting gimmicks used to offset other types of federal spending.

In other words, money comes in and is spent on a regular basis. The trust fund revenues don’t represent money saved or held-back by the government, only a positive balance in the records. When you hear that such and such trust fund has X billion in it don’t be fooled. It’s not like the money is sitting in Ft. Knox waiting to spent. It’s just an I.O.U. from Congress to itself with no power of enforcement.

End result, increase the gas tax and there is no guarantee that the money collected will even be spent, let alone spent on public infrastructure.

Mr. Oberstar should be less disingenuous and more focused on creating policy for which he will be actually responsible.

It's Brisk Baby! Brisk!

I was having lunch yesterday with my supervising attorney who told me an interesting story about a local attorney with quite a colorful attitude about the law. What caught my attention, however, was the mention of a photo that the attorney enlarged and hung on his office wall:


It seems that Frank Sinatra was arrested by the Bergen County, New Jersey sheriff in 1938 and charged with carrying on with a married woman. The charge was later changed to adultery and eventually dismissed. (Photo courtesy of The SmokingGun.com)

I'm not certain what message the photo conveys to prospective clients (or fellow attorneys) but I like the attitude it takes to hang it behind one's desk chair.

I also can't help but note the smirk on Sinatra's face in the left picture. I mean, why not? As I often tell myself, there are worse things to be busted for than being irresistible. Uh, right.

(Oh, and a serenade to the first person who can tell me where I got my title for this post)

House Beautiful

A new site on my radar is Snopes.com a rumor and urban legends collection helping shed some light on the many bogus and not-so bogus stories out there. A fellow lawyer sent me some domestic scoop on Al Gore and President George Bush regarding how much energy their respective homes consume on an annual basis.

I found it interesting, especially given Gore’s oft-touted pro-environmental stance and Bush’s less than environmentally-friendly administration (and no, calling for a meeting on Global Warming after denying its existence for the past six years does not make you pro-environment).

Gore’s house is a Hummer III …



… compared to Bush’s Toyota Prius.



Of course, Mr. Gore is a proponent of carbon trading, through which high energy consumers can offset particularly excessive uses by doing other things which decrease energy use. A simple analogy is to constantly leave lights on throughout your house while also installing compact florescent bulbs throughout; i.e. you get credit for the latter which theoretically, offsets your use.

Theoretically, mind you.

I’m sure Mr. Gore’s domestic servants sort his cans and bottles before putting them out on the curb so he’s probably covered re: his electricity costs.

Mr. Bush on the other hand, being a good Republican with a strong uh, conviction that social policy must be driven by a belief in God, Country and the Internal Revenue Code (in that order), no doubt received a significant tax credit for building such a green house.

Truly, a man’s home is his castle.

Messages Made Me Do It; That'll Be To Go!

Everything tastes better when it’s wrapped in pretty paper direct from the benign happy place inhabited by Ronald McDonald. That’s the message anyway from a new study published by the Stanford University School of Medicine and Lucile Packard Children's Hospital.
Children ranging from three to five years old were shown foods wrapped in "MickeyD" wrappers and asked to compare the food’s taste with identical food wrapped in generic wrapper having similar colors. Overwhelmingly, the children described the McDonald’s-wrapped food as tasting better.

Taste is perception right? When children are bombarded with commercial images since practically the day they are born (or on the day they are born if Mom’s hospital room has a television), their perception regarding what is of quality or importance is markedly influenced.

I suspect it should come as no surprise to anyone that the costly-carefully-crafted, specifically designed-to-appeal-to-children messages are received loud and clear by their intended audience. Given the variety of advertising that is both child and adult-focused, I wonder what other messages are received. Immigrants are poor and threatening, beer makes everything better and the world's multinational corporations really do have your best interests in mind.

"Its the supermarket to the world and brings good things to life."

What I don’t wonder is whether corporate America has any hesitation to exploit our children on behalf of the bottom line.

"Parents don't choose for their children to be exposed to this type of marketing," noted Thomas Robinson, MD, director of the Center for Healthy Weight at Packard Children's and associate professor of pediatrics and of medicine at the School of Medicine. "Parents have a very difficult job. It may seem easier to give in to their child's plea to go to McDonald's than to give in to the many other hundreds of requests they get during a day."

Um hmmm… hundreds of requests... "Mommy, can I put my fingers in the garbage disposal?"... "Daddy, will you please give me a shot of Jack?"... "I hate you! You never let me play on the interstate like all the other kids!"

Yes, those hundreds of requests sure can wear a parent down. Better to make the kid fat and give-in than to have to make a good choice for one’s children. Ah well, McDonalds need not worry about my qualms.

Judging by the number of Happy Meals sold last year I’m clearly in the minority to suggest that the right choice is to not take your children to McDonalds or any other fast-food establishment.

This just in: The number of Happy Meals sold worldwide with apple slices rather than fries is not available. Apparently, because the company won’t disclose the information.

Open Wide and Bend Over

I have repeatedly resisted commenting on what I like to refer to as the “Wannabe’s on Parade”, otherwise known as the run-up to next year’s presidential race.

I’ve refrained simply because thinking about presidential politics in an off-election year is like... worrying about which assisted living community I’ll be residing in come oh, 2055... or how much in government welfare, uh, Social Security benefits I’ll be receiving (according to my annual statement) in 2032; basically there are more pressing concerns. Tonight, however,my political rhetoric (read:bullshit) meter has gone off the deep end.

Part-time New Mexico Governor and fulltime Presidential Candidate Bill Richardson has decided that universal health care is something he as President will champion.

From his website:
"America's moral values support the basic concept that no one should be denied the health care necessary to sustain their lives productively simply because of wealth or income."

Hmmm…

My only thoughts on this issue are two-fold:

First, a previous “Bill” took on that very same issue and was resoundly handed his lunch by the Democratic majorities in both the House and Senate. Must I point out who currently resides in control of both houses of Congress?

Second, and more relevant, at this moment New Mexico ranks 49th overall in the number of uninsured residents (Texas is last, nice huh?). Today, ONE out of FOUR people in Bill's and my state lack health care coverage and ONE out of FIVE CHILDREN have no health care coverage. (Source)

They say charity begins at home. What do you think Bill? Perhaps the same "moral values" should be applied in New Mexico first before rolling them out on the national stage. Could be me, but I think your credibility will be stronger that way.

Issues with Creating More Issue

People often take offense at the notion that human beings are descended from apes or (more accurately) share a common ancestor, aka Mr. Darwin’s Theory of Evolution.

I suspect folks take umbrage with the notion that we might have evolved from “animals” because they believe that God created Man in his own image (uh, God’s image, I think)… and as God is not an animal (uh? NO! of course not)... humans are most certainly not animals. It’s blasphemy to even suggest otherwise.

Hmmmm…

What about when human beings choose to breed like animals, with what appears to be little more thought or consideration?

Case in point, the Duggars of Tontitown, Arkansas. With the birth of their newest daughter, Mr. and Mrs. Duggar now have 17 children ranging in ages from 19 years to one day old. Mrs. Duggar, 40, has apparently been in a state of pregnancy for a total of 10.5 years.

After the birth, Mr. Duggar noted that, "We are just so grateful to God for another gift from him. We are just so thankful to him that everything went just very well."

Personally, I think any god would be shaking his or her head in concern and trying to figure out how in this instance a rabbit’s instinctual need to breed got put in the wrong animal.

Or, maybe Mr. Duggar just has a kink for prego-sex.

Run Forest! Run!

I’m pretty sore this morning and I have only myself to blame.

I ran in a 20K yesterday and probably didn’t stretch enough prior to the start. As I get older, I’m finding that stretching is necessary more and more in order to feel less like a 5th floor dropped suitcase the day after a high mileage event.

In this case, the event was the 9th Annual Run to End the Silence (a benefit for Albuquerque’s Presbyterian Ear Institute). The race took place on the nearby Sandia Pueblo.

The course was 12 miles out and back with a pretty smooth trail except for a couple of arroyos and washes where you had to run through sand and gravel. Even though I drive through Sandia twice a day on Tramway, I was drawn to this event because I’d be able to run on the pueblo in places that aren’t visible from the road and are off-limits to visitors.

Another great thing about this race was that it started at 6:30 a.m. and so the sun had yet to creep up over the mountains. I ran east and uphill in shadow for most of the first half. When the sun did come up I was already at the halfway point and heading back downhill.

It was really amazing to be out in what remains pretty much untouched land, just a few minutes from downtown Albuquerque and with views ranging from the Sandias to the Rio Grande. What a spectacular thing to be doing before even a first cup of coffee.

The truism holds: No pain, no gain.

I suppose the gain can be measured in visual as well as physical terms.

New Window Dressing

Akin to a virtual rearrangement of the digital living room furniture, I've decided that today we'll have a new look and feel to the site.

Digressing:
Only metaphorically speaking on the "feel" part. Of course, that's assuming the change of energy waves hitting your retinas as a result of new colors cannot be felt. I suspect, however, that if you are 'feeling' the color switch, you may need immediate professional medical care. Either that or the CIA has finally gotten through your tinfoil hat and that's another issue.

Resuming:
I can tell that as my work schedule and caseload picks up, I'm going to want this blog to be more uh, how do I say it?

Professional-looking? Refined? Classy?

Nah...

I was just got tired of how the green on white elements always looked rather uninteresting on a PC monitor (I originally set the site up on a Mac). Besides, the parchment look is oh, so lawyer-like right?

It's all about me.

Rubb'in My Worry Beads

Hi folks. Welcome to another exciting episode of “New Parent Neurosis” brought to you today by Mom’s Breast Milk.

Warm, frothy, and full of all the fat, antibodies and protein a growing baby needs. Drink all you want there’s always more and our taps are always on! Mmmm mmmm good… that’s Mom’s.

Neurosis No. 1 – Babies Cannot Sleep on their Stomachs
Why? Because we’re afraid of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).

Terrified in fact, even though the jury’s still out that there is such a thing. Research seems to suggest that the brains of some infants develop in such a way that the child’s auto-response breathing mechanism stutters when the baby is on its stomach. This results in the baby asphyxiating. Less of a syndrome and more of a physiological condition.

Serious stuff for sure. But to suggest that a baby must categorically never sleep on their stomach is taking it a step too far. Here’s an interesting take on the need for babies to sleep on their stomachs at least once in a while.

Neurosis-free Tip No. 1: When you’re in the room and they’re sleeping put them on their stomachs and let them sleep in what is a natural position, prone. When you leave the room, turn them over onto their backs. Don’t leave them sleeping prone but let them do it when you’re there.

Besides, if you’re a new parent you’re already checking their breathing every 30 seconds anyway.

You Want Breastmilk With That?

There has been a big gap in my postings. As you might have noticed from one of my previous missives, it’s because I became a new father on May 3rd.

There hasn’t been much on my radar lately except for feeding, burping, holding, and changing the diapers of two little girls. The first ten days were stressful because both girls remained in the extended care nursery at UNM Hospital. Vivian came home on May 13th and then the stress multiplied even more because in addition to caring for her, we needed to shuttle back and forth between home and the hospital to see Eleanor.

Eleanor entered her fourth week at UNM with signs of great progress and then setbacks in terms of how much she’d eat at mealtimes. The hospital policy is not to discharge unless the baby can eat a certain volume over a nursing shift for four consecutive shifts. Eleanor kept missing the targets for one out of four 12-hour shifts, essentially restarting the clock. We’d get a phone call telling us to plan on picking her up the “day after next” and then a call that day telling us we’d have to wait.

Finally, we had enough. I think the conversation consisted of telling the charge nurse, “Shift minimums be damned and go shove hospital policy. We’re taking our daughter home.” Never forget who's in charge of the discharge of the child, the P-A-R-E-N-T.

That day, June 3, we brought Eleanor home and naturally she’s now making all of her “shift” minimums.

A couple of lessons here:

First, babies are not machines. Just because there is a chart or a policy that says a baby at such and such weight/age, etc. needs to eat such and such amount doesn’t mean that every individual baby will do so. It’s foolish to blindly apply averages to individuals.

Second, parents sometimes need to assert themselves in order to take primary responsibility for their children. It’s so easy to abdicate a child’s care when one assumes that doctors or nurses “knows best.” This is not always the case. Quite often those hard-working medical professionals are simply following whatever rule, chart, policy, etc. governs the situation; i.e. and not looking at the individual child and her needs.

Who better indeed than the parents of a child to perform that necessary activity?

After a Deep Breath...

Ok.. maybe not scared shitless but more like very aware of just how much is riding on me.

Time for the Unveiling...

There comes a time when you need to really put up or shut up.

Major events in my life have more often than not dictated the manner in which I make future choices, effectively setting priorities for me whether I like them or not. When I got married, I found that some choices (options if you will) were forever foreclosed simply because I chose to find that one person I wanted to be with. On the other hand, new possibilities developed and I’ve been able to do things in conjunction with my wife that wouldn’t have been possible otherwise.

Moving to New Mexico, returning to school fulltime, leaving the State Department, moving out to Northern Virginia, buying AOL at $52 dollars a share… all decisions that in no small part were influenced by that first, major decision of getting married.

And now?

Eleanor and Vivian have arrived. Two twin girls, born several weeks premature, were delivered to us here in the Land of the Red and Green, on Thursday, May 3, 2007, a few minutes after 11 p.m. The girls are in intensive care and their mother is recovering from the surgery.

The details of the event notwithstanding, becoming a new father in no uncertain terms is a major event. Once again, it's time to put up or shut up.

I am scared shitless.

A Long Time Between Posts.

It’s amazing. When there are deadlines looming and little time to spare the blogging seems to be prolific (if not necessarily witty or insightful). With more free time, blogging takes a backseat to all the other things I’ve basically put off for the past three years.

Geeky things that we all do but don’t admit to any but our closest friends that we’re that kind of person, i.e. the several hundred CDs now burned into my iTunes library and updated on the iPod. Oh, and I can't forget all the album cover art work that is now downloaded as well (so when the song plays the cover will display).

That done, time to move on to the collection of photographs that are going to gum together in to one photo baklava because I store them on top of one another in old running shoe boxes. I need to put them in front of my video camera and make digital still copies. Hmmmm. Now that I think about it, I’ve got hours and hours of video tape dating from the mid-90’s that need to be converted into DVD; but only if I want to keep the material from disintegrating further. (Oh, I do, I do.)

Audio-visual preservation, yeah that’s the ticket. Why spend time writing words on the screen when I can spend hours and hours just looking at the screen while I upload material to an external hard drive?

I could go on, but you get the idea and life is short right? Apparently I can’t stop to smell the roses, however, because I need to preserve their images for future generations to enjoy.

Gravy on the Side

So... you go to law school and suffer the slings and arrows, only to...

Take the bar exam after preparing for 10 weeks, only to...


Await your results while recognizing that if you don't pass you'll be "that guy (who didn't pass)", only to...


Pass!

Then you get sworn in.



I suspect it's all gravy after that happens.

April 4 and He is Bona Fide!

Ulysses Everett McGill:

"I am the only daddy you got! I'm the damn paterfamilias!

But you ain't bona fide!"...

"Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects.

He's bona fide."

Baby Needs a New Pair of Snowshoes

Ali came to visit us from upstate New York. She spent the week and although I had to head out for work each day, the evenings and the weekend gave us all time to catch up. It was great to see her and talk about life, good food, politics, etc.

I didn't want Ali to think that winter doesn't come to New Mexico so I suggested we take a trip up the mountain and do some hiking. Didn't have to talk her into it (although I did have to convince her that sneakers would not be comfortable - I don't think she believed me that the snow would be more than a dusting.)


Although it was a beautiful day, bright and sunny, Sandia Peak had roughly 3 1/2 feet of snow on it and the trail was only visible because of previous intrepid hikers/skiers.


The skiers had the right idea.

This is actually a 4-foot high fence.


Now it looks like a landscaping border.

And right about this time as I was trying to pull my leg out, it occurred to me that yes, snowshoes were invented for just this situation.



Ain't nothing getting by me.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

“I’ll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand new shirt…”

It’s time.

After three years, three months, and nineteen days, I’m heading out the door tomorrow morning to begin a new job and embark upon a new career path.

Lawyer.

Me.

Pinch me baby!

Catching Hoops and Reconnecting

Headed to Chicago for a long weekend catching up with my good friends Craig and Tracy. Although Tracy had to then catch a flight on Saturday morning for work, Craig and I were able to compare notes over the remaining weekend.

It didn’t hurt that the Big Ten Conference was taking place in Chicago. Although we didn’t actually go to see the games in person, we did spend some quality time in several sports bars/brewpubs; sampling not only Wisconsin’s inability to overcome the psychological hump of winning a game against Ohio State, but also some oh, so fine brews.

In addition to beer, basketball and boiling in da’ hot tub, I spent most of Monday at the Art Institute of Chicago.


The Art Institute is my favorite museum. (Although I’ve spent numerous wonderful hours perusing the Cloisters as well). When staying more than a night in Chicago, I always go for a few hours.

The permanent collection is simply fantastic. I think I most enjoy the pre-renaissance artists (circa 1100-1400). The religious imagery, while not inspiring to me personally, is simply spectacular in terms of how the artist’s developed their abilities to convey the human form. I like walking from gallery to gallery, observing how the paintings evolve.


Also, while I’m not really much into contemporary art, I do enjoy Jackson Pollock’s work.

Or maybe it’s just the 8 x 10 foot canvas’.

It's Not Just Me... Is It?

Libby’s guilty.
We are not surprised.
Is it just me, or could any Vice President as organized as this one fail to know what his chief of staff was doing?

US Attorneys, appointed for political reasons, are fired for political reasons.
We are surprised.
Is it just me, or aren’t political hacks (of any persuasion) supposed to operate on behalf of their benefactor’s political agenda?

Ann Coulter called former Senator John Edwards a faggot.
But only in jest.
Is it just me, or am I the only one who never credited her with having a sense of humor in the first place?

US orders for durable goods continue to fall.
Even while production costs are revised upwards.
Is it just me, or is gold really the smart buy going forward into 2007?

North Korea came to the table and the parties worked out a deal.
Rhetoric and posturing was left at the door by the United States.
Is it just me, or does talk and negotiation create a more effective resolution than sending in the 1st Armored Division?

What? Oh... I see...

Sorry about that. I've just been informed that yes indeed, it is just me.

Eat More and Think Less

Dining options remain robust in Albuquerque not only for good New Mexican and Mexican food but also Chinese and American fare.

I’ve not been going out to eat much lately. I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or not. True, we're saving money, but if I sit quietly, the carne adovada seems to whisper in my mind. “We’re here, simmering under a slow heat and with nothing but a tortilla between us and you big boy.”

Uh, or something like that.

Maybe what I’m hearing are the coyotes running in the arroyo across the street? Hmmm… bring the cat in, they sound hungry too.

Owl Café
800 Eubank Blvd NE
A 1950’s diner experience that hasn’t lost its comfortable feel in lieu of appealing to every yuppie and soccer mom it can shove in a booth. The meal opens with a bowl of green chile and beans (in place of say, chips or bread). The burgers were small and nothing to write about. The cheese fries (with green chile) kept me occupied for a while but truthfully, I left wondering what all the hype is based upon.

Blake’s Lotaburger
1801 Juan Tabo Blvd NE
This local New Mexico burger joint does it well with cooked to order burgers and excellent service (at least at this location over several visits). Nothing fancy here, just great burgers with green chile, nicely done fries and one of the better vanilla milkshakes I’ve had the pleasure to consume. Now, Blake’s is certainly not up to the standards of In-N-Out, but as I can’t get to the nearest store in Kingman, Arizona very often, I must to visit the local’s also-excellent offering.

China Garden
12611 Montgomery Blvd NE
We like good Chinese food. It would be better if they delivered. They don’t. Still, the garlic shrimp is spicy and overflowing with shrimp. No uh.. scrimping on the shrimp. (Try saying that three times fast!!) While not a very original name for a Chinese restaurant, China Garden does make up for it each and every time we order. The sweet and sour chicken comes with the sauce on the side and the steamed dumplings taste like they were made ten minutes before. I highly recommend the Orange shrimp, beef or chicken (and don’t tell me it’s the same sauce, it’s not!).

Horse & Angel Tavern
5809 Juan Tabo Blvd NE
Since moving to Albuquerque, I haven’t spent much time in the local watering holes. This, of course is in sharp contrast to when I was in Madison, where most nights after the law library closed, you’d find me curled up with my Guinness (or my Pabst’s depending on the lo-cal). The few times I’ve needed a serious tavern atmosphere, however, the Horse & Angel fit exceptionally well. The food is strictly pub fare but the beer selection is excellent with more than 40 taps and another 70 or so bottled selections. Yes, they’ve got the microbrews lined up, but they also import a variety of English and Scottish ales for their more um, refined-palette clientele.

Ok... I was already hungry, now I'm thirsty as well.

Nary a Scar; so to Speak

I survived the bar exam. I have no idea if I’ve passed, but am never-the-less relatively unscathed.

Although… traffic on Wednesday nearly made me late for the Multistate portion. I had to pull what's become known in Boston as the "Tommy Butler" method of dropping off a rental car (after a former boss of mine once left one too many rental cars parked in front of baggage claim at Logan.)

Picture a guy booking down 3rd street at 8:24 a.m. (exam to begin at 8:30 sharp!) with briefcase in tow, his car abandoned, engine running, keys now with a person who the aforesaid wannabe lawyer hopes is a bellhop at the Doubletree Hotel.

I squealed my tires turning into the driveway and came to a stop in front of the closest hotel to the convention center, then tossed my keys in the general direction of a guy in uniform and ran like hell.

Lucky for me, he actually worked at that hotel!

Picked up the car during my lunch break. All he said was, “Boy you sure were in a hurry this morning. That’ll be 12 bucks.”

Seems a fair price to pay.

One day out... Time to get out...

True, the first few weeks of preparing for the New Mexico Bar Exam consisted of sitting in three hour review lectures with some outlining later that day. The final six weeks, however, have been a steady stream of essays, MBE questions and continued memorization of rules of law in 20 subjects.

But today is the last day and a rest day.

Or, maybe I’d better term it a day of rest from bar exam preparation.

I headed up into the Sandia Mountains and walked until my feet felt like they too needed the vacation that my mind was experiencing. Nothing to think about except which trail looked best and which rock seemed appropriate for a lunch break.


I hiked a big loop in the general direction of Whitewash Trail but via a side scramble up through Piedra Lisa Canyon. Made it as far as Oso Pass (although by then the snow was up to my knees and a smart person should have turned around long before then). At the pass, I stopped, took a few pictures, caught my breath… and headed back down.


Total elevation gain: 3948 ft.
Highest elevation: 8301 ft.
Bushwhack percentage: 20%

Number of intentional torts contemplated: 0

Green, Style and Way Cool Too...

In news an out-of-work autoworker can use:

NM Governor Bill Richardson announced today that Tesla Motors will build a new automobile assembly facility in Albuquerque, bringing 400 high wage jobs and a total capital investment of 35 million dollars. Construction on the 150,000 square foot plant will begin in April 2007, at the latest.

Tesla Motors, based out of San Carlos, CA, will use the plant to produce its “WhiteStar” car, a four door, five-passenger sports sedan which is 100% electric.



This is one snazzy looking machine.. now if only it could plug itself in and run my errands...

... Then I might actually consider giving up my 12mpg SUV.

"Absent Friends"

Too often I find myself thinking of calling and then remember suddenly that there's no longer any working number for that kind of conversation.

It's not that we left things unsaid or that our last meeting was unpleasant. (As I recall, our last words involved nothing more than each of us trading a story and signing off by telling the other that we loved one another).

No, it's just that every so often I wish I could call, trade gossip and update you on all the seriously amazing and wonderful things that are happening in my life.

I know you'd want to hear about them.

Happy Birthday Mom.

You'd have been 66 years old today.

Gonzo Law

It was a cloudy, snow-threatening afternoon…

Uh, actually it’s bright and sunny and 62 degrees but I’m trying to commiserate with friends up in Wisconsin (who I believe have sunny skies as well but also a wee bit of a wind chill).

Friday in early February and we’re less than three weeks out from the NM Bar Exam.

Hmm… can you say meltdown?

Six subjects for the multi-state and another fourteen subjects that may (or may not) be on the essay questions (along with the possibility of some of the aforementioned six), for a total of twenty subjects to get shoved, stowed, inserted, forced, etc. into the brain between now and the 26th!

Sigh…

Makes me reconsider the whole futuristic data chip implant scenario in a more positive light.

Civil liberties seem a small price to pay for being able to recall and apply the Rule Against Perpetuities on demand.

“No interest is good unless it must vest, if at all, not later than 21 years after some life in being at the creation of the interest.”