Misdirection

I don't always read the instructions that come with things less complicated than a toothbrush but sometimes doing so ends up being more fun than the products themselves.

One thing I love doing, however, is looking to see just how many warranties a manufacturer can attempt to disclaim? Why every one of course. (Good luck!). Recently, in the course of contemplating the implied warranty of fitness for a particular purpose, the following instructional directives/commands/pleas jumped out at me:

Panasonic Hairdryer:
"Never use while underwater."

Graco Children's Car Seat:
"Not for use on motorcycles, watercraft or farm equipment, including push or riding lawn mowers."

Kirtland Stainless Chaffing Dishes:
"Never use heated fuel with cold dishes."

Pizza Box from Dion's Pizza (A local Albuquerque chain):
"Always remove pizza from box before reheating in oven or over open flame."

LG Front-Loading Washer:
"Never attempt to operate washer when someone is inside unit."

Craftsman Circular Saw:
"Use Care When Operating - When in motion, blade will cut skin on contact."

As I'm working on a fairly large products liability case right now, I'm reminded that someone, somewhere has taken the above action, been injured as a result and sued the manufacturer for their injuries under a theory of products liability. The instructions, while clearly appearing to fly in the face of common sense also have the legal effect of serving to warn and trim back at least one branch of a potential plaintiff's case.

Neat huh? Not so much common sense as common law. Oh, and don't even think about scoffing and telling me we live in too litigious a society.

Instead, consider that we live in a society where most companies need to put a notice on their return envelopes informing us, the wise, sue-happy American public to, "Affix Postage. Post Office will not deliver without a stamp."

I, uh, rest my case.